• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lieff Ink

TELL YOUR STORY

  • About
  • Services
    • Writing • Editing
    • PR
    • Writing Tutor
  • Words
  • Press
  • Blog
  • Clients
    • Client List
    • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Book
    • Accolades
    • Reviews

Retta: So Close to Being the Sh*t Y’all Don’t Even Know

January 25, 2020

Just the title indicates exactly what this book is going to be like. Retta is raw, funny, and if you’ve ever seen her act, you can hear her speak in her writing. While most people probably know her as Donna from Parks and Recreation, I know Retta from her hilarious performance as Ruby on Good Girls. In So Close to Being the Sh*t Y’all Don’t Even Know, Retta is relatable but also reminds the reader that she attends Emmy, Grammy, and Golden Globe parties. She talks unapologetically about her weight and the horrifying people who have given her a hard time about it. The stories she tells are extremely clever but also honest and brave.

Marietta Sirleaf (the nickname Retta came from a guy she hooked up with in college!) got her start in entertainment by doing standup at a sorority charity event when she was a junior at Duke University. Her original plan was to go to medical school but things changed when she became interested in comedy and television and won Comedy Central’s stand-up competition in 1999.

The first story she tells is when she was supposed to audition for the part of Effie in Dreamgirls but was too scared to show up. Instead, Jennifer Hudson got the part, won an Academy Award, and was propelled into superstardom. As a result, Retta now says this to herself before a big audition: “Bitch, stop wasting time fearing the worst. Living through the worst is never as hard as fearing it. Fight the fear and go do what you gotta do. That’s what you came here for.”

Throughout the book, Retta is very candid about difficult topics like her weight, her injured knees and ankle, and issues finding clothes that fit, but talks about all of these things with an incredible sense of humor that is not self-deprecating. I appreciate her self-awareness and honesty – for example, she points out that although she is an organized person, that’s very different from being a disciplined person.

While she says it took some time to find her voice, she makes it clear that she never customizes her act to a specific audience. If someone hires Retta to do stand-up, she’s going to do what she’s going to do. “I never tailor my act to a specific audience. I just write what I think is funny, whether you like it or not is your business, not mine. I’ve been doing stand-up for a long time and you hire me based on what you know I do.”

Fun fact: Retta doesn’t want to be in your wedding or dress up for your Halloween party. “Last Halloween when people asked me what I was, I told ’em – a minority.” Solid gold. But when she throws a holiday party you better show your face because she’s going to give you something personalized and she’ll cut a bitch who RSVPs and doesn’t show up.

I’d never really watched Parks and Recreation before, but I’ve watched a few episodes since reading this book and it’s better than I thought – even though it uses that annoying format from The Office. Retta clearly has a lot of respect for her former costar Amy Poehler: “I’m grateful to Amy for showing me what being a gracious class act in this business is.”

Her series of vignettes read like you’re having a conversation with her but also like a stand-up routine – and she balances the approach perfectly.

Favorite quotes:

“Growing up on the dodgy side of the middle class is a part of me.”

“The last thing I wanna look like is a hippie surfer who dropped out of boarding school and moved to Hawaii to live in his Saab at the beach.”

Retta’s parents were serious about school and her extracurricular activities: “I wasn’t allowed to just hang out whenever I felt like it, like some common street thug.”

“If I ever get engaged, I’m registering for Dixie products. Because I think we can all agree that dishes are some bullshit.”

“If you’re one of those people who doesn’t own a TV…I don’t even want to know you.”

Referring to the morning after her first-ever the Golden Globes when she was hungover: “A wave of pseudo-memories and legit ‘oh shit’-ness came flooding over me and woke me from my zombie state faster than an ice bucket challenge.”

“Does anything give you more of a sense of readiness than a phone at 100 percent? It’s a feeling of being capable of handling business.”

“I have a bit of animosity toward social media because I’ve dropped my phone on my face while lying in bed more times than I care to admit.”

“People loooooooove to be the first person to tell you something.”

Describing a fun night: “I was feeling myself more than Kanye feels Kanye.”

“Who is doing the PR for kale? And how can I get down with this company. Because kale used to be some bullshit underneath the salsa bins at Baja Fresh. Now it’s the headliner on every menu.”

Comedic similes and metaphors:

Talking about a coffeemaker she got as a swag gift: “Ignored it like a white crayon.”

“I take television very seriously…with the kind of dedication and loyalty you might find in a scientologist or a golden retriever.”

“I’m not just your average binger; using a show for my own amusement for one intense weekend and then tossing it aside like a pen without ink or a pro athlete’s first wife. I get invested, almost to my own detriment.”

Talking about the L.A. Kings hockey players: “I was pleasantly surprised to find that more than one of them was hot like fish grease.”

Stylistically, she goes back and forth between her well-spoken prose and her hilarious ghetto girl slang. She also randomly abbreviates words and her use of footnotes is also hysterical because this technique is usually used in research papers – not comedic memoirs. If you’re a fan of Retta, definitely read this book. If you’re looking to laugh, read this book – it’s in the league of Tina Fey’s Bossypants and Amy Poehler’s Yes Please.

Laura

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Carly Fields says

    January 25, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    Read it in a day (thanks to you!), and I need further instructions on how to become her BJWF (best Jewish white friend bc she looooves our people) ASAP!

    Reply
    • Laura says

      January 26, 2020 at 11:01 am

      Hahaha yes she wants in on Hanukkah!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Blog Archive

  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010

Footer

Laura Lieff was named Colorado Mountain College’s 2017-2018 Part Time Staff Member of the Year for her work as a writing tutor and teaching assistant.
Laura Lieff was named Colorado Mountain College’s 2017-2018 Part Time Staff Member of the Year for her work as a writing tutor and teaching assistant.

Work With Me

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
lieff-ink-logo_updated-2
  • About
  • Services
  • Words
  • Blog
  • Client List
  • Contact

Copyright © 2023 · PO Box 1228 Edwards CO 81632 · info@lauralieff.com