Dancing With Myself

One of the biggest themes of Billy Idol’s memoir, Dancing With Myself, is coming full circle. He starts and ends with referring to his parents as his first friends and wow did that resonate. After everything Idol (born William Broad) put himself, his family, the mothers of his children, his friends, and bandmates through, he still comes back to his parents being his first friends. It hit home. He also starts and ends his chaotic story detailing the horrific motorcycle accident that almost killed him. “I should have allowed myself to take stock and perhaps take the break I never had after the accident, but I didn’t.”

Overall, the book was partially what I expected and partially not. Divided into three parts –  London, New York City, and Los Angles – Dancing With Myself runs through Idol’s life from beginning to present day (2014). Of course, excess is usually part of rock and roll stories (i.e. the books I have read about Van Halen, Guns N Roses, Aerosmith, Motley Crue, and the list goes on and on) but this narrative seemed liked a book about drugs and alcohol that featured music rather than the other way around. On a positive note, I did appreciate how his love of fashion always went hand-in-hand with the music during a time when punk was finding its way. Clearly it was an exciting era, both creatively and in terms of excess, and Idol dove headfirst into every endeavor. “There was a huge difference in mentality between the punk bands who came before 1977 and those who formed after.”

Idol’s humble musical beginnings were interesting to read about as he loved the Beatles and described them as “the single most important band” in his life because they made him want to do what they were doing. He also cites Bruce Springsteen as an important influence because his songs had “gripping storylines and several moving parts that built to a crescendo.” Idol also appreciates Springsteen’s ability to pull from his personal history: “it inspired me to dig deep and come up with my own equivalent of the raw materials of my life.”

As much adoration as he has for his parents, when he was young their relationship was rocky because his mom and dad did not understand his love of rock and roll. Also, they refused to buy him a guitar – only a violin which he didn’t want to learn. That old school mentality of forcing kids to play piano and violin makes me roll my eyes. Therefore, as a young adult, it’s no surprise that he acted out and recognized that he didn’t want to work for someone else’s dreams. “I had come to the realization that I had no interest in selling a product unless the product was me.”

The details of Idol’s all-encompassing addictions are both plentiful and hard to read because they take up so much space in the narrative and, of course, his life. As a result, angst drove many decisions and songs: “Fuck heroes. Just write your own goddamn songs.” Hindsight being 20/20 is another major theme in this book and Idol spends a lot of time taking ownership of his mistakes, making amends, and apologizing for his actions. My favorite aspects are the way he describes the lessons he has learned about life and music: “Today I understand how life can take the idealist and wreck him on the rocks of his own words.” A revelation that comes with experience.

All that being said, Dancing With Myself also offers happy anecdotes – for example, he remembers the first time he heard someone singing a Generation X song, the first autograph he signed, the first time he heard “Dancing With Myself” played at a club, and when he performed in Munich and witnessed “one of the greatest moments of total audience participation ever” during “White Wedding.” Idol understands that he was making music at a pinnacle time for both punk rock and rock and roll. “It was the beginning of radio opening up their playlists to many new artists as MTV began to gain influence. A new generation of listeners was emerging, hungry for new music.” I also think it is fascinating that, throughout the 80s and 90s, he was asked to be part of multiple movies – both in the music and acting capacities – including Days of Thunder, Terminator 2, The Doors, Speed, and The Wedding Singer. Unfortunately, following the poor reception of his 1993 album Cyberpunk, he took 12 years off of making albums and didn’t perform for six years. “I had no desire to tour again unless I had something new and relevant to say.”

Most importantly, Billy Idol loves his children and “revels in the delight” he gets from them. While he admits to not always succeeded in parenting, he points out that part of being a parent is “you find yourself constantly second-guessing, so you must rely on your best intentions and instincts and hope it all comes out to the good.” That is true. We do the best we can. He also says that his children anchor him and are his “clear reality when all else is in fuddle.” I love that after all of his tumultuous addictions and the accident that almost killed him, Idol came out the other side better than before.

Quotes

“Deep inside, I felt a connection to what has happened on earth through the ages, with history and music keeping me grounded.”

“Truth was in his voice.”

“I was a foreigner in my own country, a stranger in a strange land.”

On Roy Orbison: “Brutal truth that life can be harsh and success does not make up for it. But loss does give you something to write about.”

“Follow your own course, be the captain of your soul.”

“Rock n roll gathered power with every changing of the guard, and now it was our turn.”

“We were young and idealistic! We believed in the healing power of music and its ability to change society.” Amen.

“We were trying to communicate our experiences in a romantic but realistic way, instead of just shouting grievances, as was the fashion at the time.” This is why I like Generation X but not all punk bands.

“A punk with a heart? What’s wrong with that?” Absolutely nothing. ❤️

“Sometimes you’ve just got to go to the wall or people, if you let them, will walk all over you.”

Fun Facts

Idol and his friends saw Black Sabbath one month before their debut album came out.

The Sex Pistols played their first gig ever on September 3, 1976 in Paris.

He was going to call himself Billy Idle because a chemistry teacher had written on a report card “WILLIAM IS IDLE” but since Monty Python’s Eric Idle already had that name, he went with Idol. Another reminder of how much we as parents impact our kids and how much our kids’ teachers impact them as well.

Due to legal issues with the name Generation X, the band played a few gigs as Wild Youth until everything was sorted out.

Idol’s first solo gig in the United States was at Max’s Kansas City in NYC.

He began recording his first solo album the same month/year MTV launched – August 1981.

The phrase Rebel Yell was on a bottle of booze Idol noticed in the hands of Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Ron Wood at a birthday party.

Electric Lady studio was founded by Jimi Hendrix in 1970, but he died barely three weeks after its opening party.